The Scary Door

The Scary Door is a program sometimes viewed by the characters on Futurama. It is a spoof of the classic science fiction TV series "The Twilight Zone."

The Last Man on Earth
Appearance:

Transcript

 * [Opening credits.]

Announcer: You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.
 * [Scene: In a desolated world, a man with glasses walks through a library that was somehow spared from destruction.]

Announcer: As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on Earth. Man: Finally, solitude. I can read books for all eternity!
 * [He drops his glasses]

Man: It's not fair... [panicked] it's not fair! [calmer] Wait, my eyes aren't that bad; I can still read the large-print books.
 * [As he reaches for a book, his eyes fall out]

Man: [hysterical] It's not f-... [calmer] Well, lucky I know how to read Braille.
 * [His hands fall off. He screams, and then his tongue falls out. Then his head falls off.]

Announcer: Hey, look at that weird mirror...

Credits

 * Announcer: Maurice LaMarche
 * Man: Maurice LaMarche

Episode 2
Appearance:

Transcript

 * [Opening credits.]

Announcer: You're entering a realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic, or contains some kind of monster... The second one. Prepare to enter the Scary Door.
 * [Scene: An elderly man wearing a green visor exits 3-Eyed Jack's Casino.]

Announcer: Please send the man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith. A professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.
 * [While crossing the street, Clyde is hit by a car.]
 * [Clyde wakes up in front of a slot machine. He pulls the lever and it comes up with three Bars.]

Clyde: [laughs] A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me; I must be in heaven!
 * [He pulls the lever again, three Bars come up again.]

Clyde: A casino where I always win? That's boring. I must really be... [dramatic] In hell!
 * ''[Enter man.]

Man: No, Mr. Smith, you're not in heaven or hell. You're on an airplane!
 * [Man opens curtain, revealing airplane windows. Clyde looks out the window and sees a gremlin on the wing, tearing out the wiring.]

Clyde: There's a gremlin destroying the plane! You've gotta believe me! Man: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!
 * [Man holds up a mirror, revealing that Clyde's reflection is that of Adolf Hitler.]

Clyde: No!
 * [Clyde is transformed into Hitler when he turns to the person next to him.]

Clyde: Eva Braun, help me!
 * [ Eva Braun pulls off her face to reveal that she's actually a giant fly. Clyde screams.]

Credits

 * Announcer: Maurice LaMarche
 * Clyde Smith: ?
 * Man: ?

Episode 3
Appearance:

Transcript

 * [Opening credits.]

Announcer: You're on a scenic route through a state recreational area known as the human mind. You ask a pass-byer for directions, only to find he has no face or something. Suddenly up ahead, a door in the road. You swerve, narrowly avoiding The Scary Door.
 * [Scene: A scientist is in a Frankensteinesque laboratory mixing chemicals in a beaker.]

Scientist: I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all.
 * [A pod reminiscent of the ones from the movie "The Fly" opens with a cloud of steam. It clears, revealing a naked human male.]

Man: It turns out it's man.

Credits

 * Announcer: Maurice LaMarche
 * Scientist: Maurice LaMarche
 * Man: Dave Herman

Episode 4
Appearance:

Transcript

 * [Opening credits.]

Announcer: Imagine, if you will, a three by seven inch wooden frame -- a frame that's a gateway to a world of imagination. Wipe your mind on the welcome mat. You're about to enter The Scary Door.
 * [Scene: A man in a car]

Announcer: Meet Brad Thompson, a man on his way home from a boring day at the office. Brad: Man, I wish something exciting would happen... anything at all.
 * [A fire truck drives behind him.]

Brad: What's this? A fire truck is trying to pass me? To get to my neighborhood? I'll bet my neighbours house is on fire. I'd better speed up if I want to watch that.
 * [He gets to his neighbour's house]

Brad: Wait a minute. My neighbour's house isn't on fire. But then, what's with all the smoke? Man: Oh... hi Brad, sorry to be the one to have to tell you, but you're on fire.
 * [Brad is shown on fire]

Brad: Yaaaaah!
 * [Brad's skeleton is on the floor]

Fireman: We tried to warn him that he was spontaneously combusting, but he drove away from us. Announcer: Official cause of death, third degree burns... actual cause of death, first degree irony!

Episode 5
Appearance:

Transcript

 * [Opening credits.]

Announcer: Imagine if you will, an announcer you can barely understand, he refers to a [mutters], but you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about the Scary Door.
 * [Scene: A farm. Suddenly, it is attacked by UFOs shooting at everything in sight.  Military forces are there, firing at the UFOs.]

Private: It's all over! Our guns and bombs are useless against the aliens. Farmer: The saucers! They'sa crashin'!
 * [The UFOs starts to crash.]

Announcer: In the end, it was not guns with bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humbles of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
 * [A Tyrannosaurus Rex is seen crashing a UFO and eating the alien inside.]

Credits

 * Announcer: Maurice LaMarche
 * Private: Dave Herman
 * Farmer: Billy West

Background
The comic "Let's Twist Again" (US#028) reveals that the ideas for the Scary Door come from a parallel universe where everything is ironic and there is only one writer for the show.