Blernsball

Blernsball is a very popular sport in the 31st century. It was reformed from baseball, which was deemed too boring. In 3003, Leela became the first female to play in the professional leagues even though she was just there as a novelty act to please Mets fans. Leela was so bad that she replaced Hank Aaron XXIV as the worst player ever in the Blernsball Hall of Fame.

Rules

 * The ball is attached to the field by an elastic tether, though powerful hits have been known to break it. A billboard just beyond the reach of the tether triggers an "automatic win," called a "grand slam blern," if the ball enters a small hole in the center of the billboard. Previous balls have been known to escape from Earth's atmosphere.
 * It is like baseball, as in, there is a pitcher who throws the ball for a player to hit across the field to get a "home run".
 * If enough balls go into a small hole in the center of the field, third ball lock, a pinball-style Multiball, is initiated. At this time dozens of balls are shot at high speeds into the field, (via hidden pitching machines that come out of the field) causing frenetic action.
 * At the time of the Multiball, the batter mounts a type of Tron-esque motorcycle and drifts over the bases, which; subsequently flash twice and explode. This may be the jazzed up version of a home run.
 * Relief pitchers are conveyed from the bullpen to the pitcher's mound by means of a giant tarantula.
 * Traditions of the game include aluminium bats and the 7th inning grope, which seems to be the jazzed up version of the 7th inning stretch.
 * Steroid injections are mandatory.
 * The batter can pay the umpire for brushing off his behind.

Teams

 * The Boston Poindexters
 * The Mars Greenskins
 * The New New York Mets
 * The New New York Yankees
 * The Pituitary Giants
 * The Swedish Meatballs
 * The Atlanta Braves

Players

 * Turanga Leela, first professional female player and worst Blernsball player ever
 * Hank Aaron XXIV, the second worst Blernsball player ever (also the worst Football player)
 * Jackie Anderson, the first woman to play Blernsball well
 * William Wu, fifth blernsman for the NNY Yankees, suffered knee injury, mentioned by newsmonster Morbo
 * Clem Johnson, a Blernsball player, mentioned by Farnsworth. He played before steroids were mandatory.
 * A Clown, used as a publicity stunt.
 * Wireless Joe Jackson, played in the Robot League, and who was designed as a Blern hitting machine.
 * Pitch-o-mat 5000, a modified howitzer.
 * Miller, on pace to hit 70 blerns.
 * Tiny Iota; according to Hank Aaron XXIV, "that guy was great."
 * Costanza, Maris, Zork, Zork Jr., Qzdulyd, Lombard, Gore, Raspberry, and Jones with Clemens' arm, all listed on Leela's score sheet for the New New York Yankees.

Trivia

 * As seen on Hank Aaron's uniform, the Atlanta Braves' logo has been changed to include a trident, due to the fact that Atlanta had been relocated to the sea (and subsequently sunk).


 * Maris has an asterisk by his name just as Roger Maris endured such an asterisk when he exceeded 's home run record but during a longer season.


 * The sign Glorx 3:16 is a reference to John 3:16, a sign held up at Baseball games by a man called Rollen Stewart.


 * All new players' numbers are fractions as all of the whole numbers have been retired (at least on the New New York Mets; Jackie Anderson, playing for the Boston Poindexters, can be seen wearing number 24. The NNY Mets' manager can also be seen wearing number 4).